Boss tells line manager that she's "too friendly" with her male colleagues after they side with her in a meeting: 'This manager has had an issue with me for a long time'

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10361281792
  • 02
    Boss told me I was "too friendly" with colleagues My 40-something female line manager told me (40 F) I was “too friendly" with 3 male 50-something colleagues on a Zoom call where I was running these male colleagues through a project I'm working on. These men are not hierarchically senior to me in any way; we work in different teams.
  • 03
    She then went on to explain to me that I should have been more formal with these male colleagues, and that a more "friendly" relationship will develop in due course, but that I made one of the men feel uncomfortable (no, he didn't tell her that, or give her any feedback at all; apparently she was "reading" his facial expressions during the video call and decided he was uncomfortable based on his expression).
  • 04
    My grand mistake? At some point during the hour-long call, I asked "what do you guys think?" regarding a specific point. Inappropriate language, she said in a feedback session after the call. That was the only example she could give me of my being "too friendly". Couldn't come up with a single other point, but kept reiterating. I agree I wasn't super formal, but it wasn't a formal meeting - it was supposed to be a collaborative call where we could all check whether our views are aligned on this
  • 05
    The kicker? Apparently these men are "a lot of fun", but only she's allowed to have a friendly conversation with them because. she's spent time "building up those relationships". BTW I have never received such feedback; this was definitely a first. I have good working relationships with basically all of my colleagues. This manager has had an issue with me for a long time - this isn't the first negative feedback I've received from her. Thoughts?
  • 06
    luckyduckie90 she doesn't like you and wants a paper trail to let you go TheGoddessIsPresent OP. Probably yes, though she just gave me a satisfactory performance review last week.
  • 07
    LaughableIKR I would email her back after this feedback and list off the points she brought up and ask if this is correct so you can keep this to 'work on'. Paper trail it.
  • 08
    elvbierbaum What do they call those girls that "want the boys to like her"? Pick Me's? That's what she is. She appears to have gotten jealous you were getting along with "her boys". just my opinion....
  • 09
    queenofthesprouts She sounds jealous, honestly. Be careful, this is how paper trails are started to let someone go.
  • 10
    R-Dragon_Thunderzord She sounds like she's threatened at your ability to rapidly build a rapport. She thought this run of the mill people-skill was a superpower she had exclusivity on. TheGoddess Is Present OP. Absolutely. She's not a people person or natural leader at all, her entire management style is forced.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article